


Caillou Beats Up His Own Dad

by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever



Category: Caillou (Cartoon), GoAnimate, Jackass (Movies) RPF
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, Humor, Non-Graphic Violence, Punishment, Violence, grounded
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 19:34:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11020104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltimateWarriorFan4Ever/pseuds/UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: Caillou watches a clip from the show "Jackass" and gets inspired to do something he would never imagined he'd do. You know what I'm talking about. Based on the Caillou Gets Grounded series on GoAnimate.





	Caillou Beats Up His Own Dad

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the godawful shitty show known as Caillou. That show is so bad. And I mean BAD. As in, "It's a TV show worth deserving of cancellation and slow-dying death" bad. And I'm writing this because I want everyone to show how much I hate that show with a passion. So here's a Caillou hatefic based on the GoAnimate videos in which Caillou gets himself grounded doing some crazy shit to his family and his crappy baby sister, Rosie. So, here you go!

Caillou was busy sleeping through the night for a good while until he heard the sound of roosters bawking outside, which meant it was time for morning.

"Ah, it's a beautiful day." Caillou said, waking up in a wimpy robotic monotone voice. "I think I will go watch some YouTube videos on YouTube."

Suddenly, Caillou went onto the computer and turned it on, coming onto the YouTube site. From there, he typed in 'jackass videos' and clicked on the enter button.

The next thing he knew, he clicked into a video where he was seeing Bam Margera beat up his own father in his bedroom. Just the visual of Bam doing that to his own dad started getting into Caillou's brain, flooding it enough for Caillou to get a lot of urges.

"Hahahahahahahahahahha-haaar, that video is funny!" He exclaimed. "In fact, it's so funny, I think I am going to beat up daddy."

With evil intentions flowing through him, Caillou left out of his room and saw his daddy, Boris, enter the bathroom. As soon as he shut the door, Caillou responded with a evil cackle, thinking what he was gonna do would be a sinch.

Once Boris was inside, he looked around the entire landscape.

"Oh boy, I am so pooped out. I think I will go take a heaping shit while I read my newspaper." Boris said to himself in a monotonous voice.

Finally, Boris started unbuckling his pants and underwear and put them down to his legs before sitting on the toilet seat with a newspaper in hand.

While he opened up the newspaper (mostly the sports section), Caillou started creaking the bathroom door open, watching his own dad.

"Hahahahahahaha-haaaaar, Dad will not see it coming." Caillou laughed evilly again.

As soon as Boris was about to switch to the finance section, he soon felt the sound of the door creak close to him.

"Hmmm, what's going on?" The dad said, turning to the right.

But as he did...

_*WHUMP!*_

Caillou had entered inside and knocked the holy fuck out of Boris!

And then, to make things worse for him, Caillou started to kick his dad repeatedly, not even getting Boris a chance to at least get himself up. And just to make sure he couldn't react, Caillou even started punching Boris right in the face so hard enough, even his father's brain literally got thrown out of his skull. With each hit, the velocity of those punches would increase, now making Boris's face look like a human speed bag. Boris tried his best to explain why Caillou was attacking him, but every time he'd try to talk, Caillou would shut him up right away with an open fist. The beatdown started getting worse and worse for Boris, who was now feeling the wrathful blows from Caillou's fist to his other parts of the body, from his back to his ribs and especially his nutsack! By now, Boris's face was now being a brutal bruised mess, suffering a fractured nose, a broken jaw and two black eyes as a result.

After punching him flat on his balls, Caillou stood tall in victory in front of his unconscious father.

"Hahahahahahaha-haaaaar, I beat up daddy!" Caillou shouted happily before repeating, "I beat up daddy, I beat up daddy, I beat up daddy, I beat up daddy, I beat up daddy, I beat up daddy, I beat up daddy, I beat up dad-"

"KAY-I-YOU!"

Suddenly, Caillou had stopped celebrating in pure shock when he heard that voice come from behind. Gulping in fear, Caillou looked behind him, standing next to the only person that could definitely relate to Boris:

Caillou's mom, Doris!

"KAY-I-YOU, KAY-I-YOU, KAY-I-YOU, KAY-I-YOU, KAY-I-YOU, KAY-I-YOU !" Doris hollered monotonously before adding, "HOW DARE YOU BEAT YOUR OWN FATHER WHILE HE IS TAKING A SHIT IN THE BATHROOM! THAT IS IT, YOUNG MAN, YOU ARE SO GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED FOR NINE HUNDRED, NINETY NINE THOUSAND, NINE HUNDRED, NINETY NINE THOUSAND, NINE HUNDRED, NINETY NINE THOUSAND, NINE HUNDRED, NINETY NINE THOUSAND YEARS! WHICH MEANS NO TV, NO INTERNET, NO VIDEO GAMES, NOT EVEN CALL OF DUTY WWII, NO CHUCK E. CHEESE'S, NO BURGER KING OR ANY FAST FOOD RESTAURANTS, NO PORN WHEN YOU'RE GETTING OLD, NO GETTING MARRIED, NO SPORTS, NO BASEBALL GAMES, NO SIX FLAGS, NO DISNEY WORLD, NO WRESTLEMANIA, NO MUSIC, NO BOOKS, AND NO DESSERT UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD AND BURIED. NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM AND DON'T COME OUT UNTIL YOU WE TELL YOU YOU CAN, WHICH WILL BE NEVER SINCE YOU WILL BE FUCKING DEAD! NOW GO!"

Hearing the rage of his mother close up, Caillou darted out of the bathroom in tears. But before he could even think of leaving, Doris stopped his son for a moment.

"Oh, and by the way, son. Your punishment isn't over yet." Doris warned him.

"It isn't?" Caillou asked.

"No," Doris shook her head. "This is."

And then all of a sudden...

_*BAAAAAAAAAM!*_

Boris came in and punched Caillou's lights out, knocking his son's bald ass down. And then, just like what Caillou did to him, Boris decided to punch Caillou repeatedly in the face, not even getting the bald-headed bastard a chance to even breathe.

"WAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWA!" Caillou cried robotically. "Stop it, daddy. Stop it."

"SUCK MY ASS, KAY-LOO!" Boris shouted out angrily while still beating the shit out of his son.

Caillou tried to call his mother for help, but she didn't do shit at all. All she did was laugh at her son's pain and misery for hours. It was clear that despite his cries for help, nobody gave two worths of shit about Caillou at all. Not even his sister. Not even his dad. Not even his mom. And especially, neither did everyone at all. It's safe to say with Caillou's grounding, the world finally became quite a safer place for once.

**Author's Note:**

> Good, that's what Caillou deserves after doing that to his dad. I swear, Caillou is so unlikeable that even the gods in heaven hate this four-year old abomination.
> 
> Just so you know that I don't think child abuse is acceptable at all. It is never right to hit kids, no matter how much bad they do. However, if it involves Caillou, than it's okay. He's just a whiny crybaby who just needs to shut the fuck up and get taught a lesson. I'm glad I don't watch this piece of bald 4-year old vomit at all (which BTW, I'm only around 28 and I'm too old for this shit). Watching a dog trying to take a total crap out in public is more fun than this piece of rancid horseshit show.
> 
> Anyway, show your review button some love if you like. Peace out 'til then, gangstas! Oh, and screw Caillou too, that bald rat bastard.


End file.
